MAY 8, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cincinnati Orchestra's Innovative Labor Agreement. Impact: Had the Cincinnati Orchestra not struck this deal, it's possible Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 would have been replaced by a local kazoo ensemble. The horror!. Fact: Cincinnati is not just famous for its chili; it’s also home to musical triumphs that almost went extinct like the dodo..
• Headline: Major Banks Erase Bankruptcy Debt Reports. Impact: By erasing debt from credit reports, these banks might be enabling a future where people are so financially clueless that they think they can afford a yacht on a barista's salary. Thanks, Banks!. Fact: The last time banks made a decision that seemed 'nice' was... well, never. But hey, this is a start!.
• Headline: Bank of America's Mortgage Relief Settlement. Impact: If Bank of America hadn’t offered this questionable relief, we might have seen a surge in underground loan sharking where people would be paying interest in cookies and back rubs.. Fact: It’s fascinating how banks can forgive debts but never seem to forgive the existence of those overpriced lattes..
• Headline: Guy Carawan Dies at 87; Taught a Generation to Overcome, in Song. Impact: Guy Carawan's legacy is so profound that future generations might refer to him as the godfather of protest music, inadvertently creating a black market for protest songs sung by kittens.. Fact: The song 'We Shall Overcome' has been sung so many times that it’s practically the anthem of every karaoke night ever held..
• Headline: Monsanto, in Bid for Syngenta, Reaches for a Business It Left Behind. Impact: Monsanto's throwback to pesticides could lead to a world where farmers are looking for hidden treasures in the soil instead of just trying to grow food. Who needs organic produce anyway?. Fact: Syngenta sounds like a secret agent organization, but it’s actually just a bunch of scientists trying to make crops more resilient than your average houseplant..