APRIL 28, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Greece's Default and Market Uncertainty. Impact: If Greece had defaulted back then, we might have seen a chain reaction that led to the invention of a new currency called 'Drachm 2.0', which would just be Monopoly money with a fancy logo. You're welcome, world economy.. Fact: Despite all the confusion, the Greek default ultimately led to more people googling 'How to make a budget' than ever before. Spoiler: it didn't help..
• Headline: Justine Musk on Success and Ambition. Impact: Justine Musk's insights on mogul life probably inspired a thousand wannabe entrepreneurs to start their own 'lifestyle blogs', distracting them from actually doing anything productive. Thanks, Justine!. Fact: Elon Musk once named a child after a Wi-Fi password. So if you think Justine's advice is groundbreaking, just wait until you see the parenting style..
• Headline: Bipartisan Push for Justice Reform in 2016. Impact: The bipartisan call for justice reform may have sparked a time where politicians actually agreed on something, leading to an alternate timeline where they all become friends and start a book club. Spoiler alert: it doesn't end well.. Fact: In a parallel universe, the 2016 candidates actually did alter the justice system, and now they all wear matching tracksuits while discussing the finer points of rehabilitation over lattes..
• Headline: 2% Inflation Rate Target Is Questioned as Fed Policy Panel Prepares to Meet. Impact: Questioning the 2% inflation target could have led to a world where inflation rates were replaced with a 'feeling' scale, transforming economics into emotional therapy sessions. 'How does 3% make you feel?'. Fact: The Fed's meetings are the only place where people can gather and discuss numbers without anyone actually understanding what's going on. Think of it as a math club for adults with fancy ties..
• Headline: Wang Jianlin, a Billionaire at the Intersection of Business and Power in China. Impact: Wang Jianlin's connections might have resulted in a new trend where billionaires started doubling as politicians, leading to a world where board meetings were conducted on Capitol Hill. Because who needs democracy when you have money?. Fact: In China, being a billionaire is like being a celebrity, but with more pressure to have a successful reality show. 'Keeping Up with the Wang-dashians' is a hit, apparently..