MARCH 2, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bitcoin's Value Shifts to Data Security. Impact: The rise of data security in Bitcoin led to a sudden boom in cybersecurity startups, inadvertently causing a shortage of tech-savvy baristas as they all decided to switch careers for a shot at the next big crypto fortune. Who knew coffee and code went so well together?. Fact: Did you know that Bitcoin’s biggest security flaw is that people still believe their passwords are '123456'?.
• Headline: Yankees' Retired Numbers Conundrum. Impact: The Yankees' obsession with retiring numbers led to a future where players needed to wear mathematical symbols instead of numbers. Imagine a baseball field filled with players sporting 'π' and '√2' on their jerseys. Who needs numbers when you can have irrationality?. Fact: Did you know that the Yankees have retired so many numbers that they might soon run out of digits and have to start using letters? Get ready for 'A-Rod 2.0: The Alphabet Edition.'.
• Headline: Justice Department to Fault Ferguson Police, Seeing Racial Bias in Traffic Stops. Impact: The Justice Department's report on Ferguson sparked a nationwide conversation about police practices, inadvertently leading to an increase in people auditioning for roles as 'social justice warriors' in the next big reality TV show. Who knew activism could be so glamorous?. Fact: Fun fact: the number of traffic stops in Ferguson was so high, they almost considered changing the town motto to 'Welcome to Ferguson: Where Every Stop is a Showdown.'.