FEBRUARY 26, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: Walmart Workers Demand More Work Hours. Impact: In a twist of fate, the quest for more hours at Walmart led to the rise of a new underground economy where employees barter their extra hours for artisanal avocado toast. Who knew poverty could fuel the hipster movement?. Fact: Did you know that Walmart once considered changing their slogan to 'Every Hour Counts'? Because apparently, every dollar doesn't..
• Headline: U.S.-Israel Relations in Turmoil. Impact: The fraying U.S.-Israel relations inspired a series of motivational posters that read 'Teamwork Makes the Dream Work' but ironically resulted in a global increase in 'awkward family gathering' memes.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'It's complicated' was invented by diplomats trying to explain U.S.-Israel relations at Thanksgiving dinners?.
• Headline: Brooklynite: A Unique Superhero Musical Experience. Impact: The success of 'Brooklynite' sparked a bizarre trend where every city started demanding their own superhero musical, resulting in a bizarre off-Broadway production titled 'Cleveland: The Musical – Just Kidding'.. Fact: Did you know that superhero musicals have a 98% chance of having a character who can't decide between love and saving the world? It's the real struggle..
• Headline: Standard Chartered Overhauls Leadership. Impact: Standard Chartered's leadership overhaul led to a series of high-stakes boardroom poker games that inadvertently improved the bank's risk assessment protocols. Who knew bluffing could lead to better financial strategies?. Fact: Did you know that 'Standard Chartered' is often mispronounced as 'Standard Chatter' in board meetings, particularly when discussing profits?.
• Headline: Unexpected Lessons From ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. Impact: The unexpected lessons from 'Fifty Shades of Grey' triggered a renaissance in literature where every book was now required to include at least one awkward scene about bondage, leading to a surge in the BDSM book club membership.. Fact: Did you know that 'Fifty Shades of Grey' was originally titled 'Fifty Shades of Not Quite Enough Character Development'?.