JANUARY 18, 2015

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Bush Brothers: A Complex Bond. Impact: Had George W. and Jeb Bush been closer, they might have formed a political dynasty so powerful it could have single-handedly revived the mullet hairstyle as a symbol of leadership.. Fact: Despite being brothers, George W. and Jeb have the same amount of selfies together as I do with my childhood imaginary friend..
• Headline: Obama's Tax Plans for Middle Class Relief. Impact: This bold move set off a chain reaction where rich people started hiring more accountants than personal trainers, ultimately leading to the invention of 'tax dodge yoga'.. Fact: Fun fact: Raising taxes on the wealthy is like asking a cat to stop knocking things off tables—it's just not going to happen without some serious persuasion..
• Headline: ‘Sniper’ Rules Weekend Box Office. Impact: The success of 'American Sniper' led to a spike in patriotism-themed films, causing Hollywood execs to consider making a movie about a heroic cat saving a dog from a tree.. Fact: Winning the box office doesn't mean a movie is good; it just means that enough people were bored on a Saturday night..