DECEMBER 22, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Winston Cleared in Rape Accusation Hearing. Impact: Had the judge found Winston guilty, a butterfly flapping its wings in Tallahassee could have led to a dramatic shift in college sports ethics, possibly sparking a new era of accountability—or just more memes about 'Winston's Woes.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'innocent until proven guilty' is often the favorite of those who’ve never been proven guilty of anything? Just saying..
• Headline: Mumbai Attacks: Intelligence Failures Revealed. Impact: The failure to connect the dots in the Mumbai attacks spurred a series of international intelligence collaborations that would later prevent a hypothetical zombie apocalypse—because if they can’t stop a few terrorists, how will they handle brain-hungry zombies?. Fact: Fun fact: The Mumbai attacks are often referred to as India's 9/11, but thankfully, nobody’s ever tried to market a commemorative mug for it. Yet..
• Headline: After a Tumultuous Year at the Box Office, Hollywood Looks to 2015. Impact: The Hollywood box office slump in 2014 sparked an avalanche of reboots and sequels. If it hadn't happened, we might have been spared the cinematic torture of 'Fast & Furious 27: The Search for More Money.'. Fact: Did you know that Hollywood's idea of 'innovation' often means slapping a fresh coat of paint on a decades-old idea? They call it 'nostalgia.' We call it 'laziness.'.
• Headline: He Sees You When You’re Sleeping, and Gives You Nightmares. Impact: The resurgence of Krampus could have caused a global parenting revolution, where children are both rewarded for good behavior and terrified into compliance. Imagine a world where Santa's little helper is a demonic goblin—talk about holiday spirit!. Fact: Did you know that the Krampus is basically Santa's way of saying, 'You better watch out, or else'? It's the original version of 'The Santa Clause' but with way more horror and less Tim Allen..