DECEMBER 2, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.O.P. Divided Over CBO Leadership. Impact: The split over Douglas Elmendorf's reappointment created a ripple effect that led to the rise of a secret society known as the 'Budgeteers', who convene under the moonlight to discuss budgetary philosophy and share their favorite CBO-related memes.. Fact: Did you know that arguing over budget appointments is a great way to unite political factions? Just kidding, it’s actually a way to ensure everyone stays divided and confused!.
• Headline: Legacy of Maurice Sendak Under Debate. Impact: The debate over Sendak’s estate caused a butterfly effect that led to a global increase in 'Where the Wild Things Are' merchandise, which in turn sparked a new trend of wild, creature-themed therapy sessions for adults.. Fact: Did you know Maurice Sendak once said, 'I refuse to lie to children'? This is probably why his estate is now debating where to send his leftover snacks!.
• Headline: New York City Plans Focus on Mental Health in Justice System. Impact: New York City's focus on mental health in the justice system sparked a nationwide movement, resulting in the establishment of 'Justice Yoga', where inmates practice mindfulness while debating the merits of their charges.. Fact: Did you know that addressing mental health in prisons could lead to fewer inmates? That’s just crazy talk—literally!.
• Headline: Searching for Burmese Jade, and Finding Misery. Impact: The harsh realities of Burmese jade mining led to a global spike in 'Jade Awareness', inspiring people everywhere to prioritize ethically sourced gemstones, resulting in a dramatic drop in the sales of sparkly, conflict-ridden baubles.. Fact: Did you know that while jade may be beautiful, the story behind it might just be the least sparkly thing ever? Talk about a rock with baggage!.