NOVEMBER 9, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rebirth of Tullio Lombardo's Adam Sculpture. Impact: The reintroduction of Adam led to a surge in marble fragment art, inspiring future sculptors to break their work deliberately and call it 'abstract expressionism'. Who knew fragments could be so trendy?. Fact: Fun fact: Tullio Lombardo's Adam was probably just as confused about life as we are today, but at least he had a better haircut..
• Headline: Port Authority Officer's Dangerous Connections. Impact: This officer's ties to Jundallah eventually led to a series of unfortunate events that caused the C.I.A. to consider hiring psychic octopuses for intelligence work. It’s a slippery slope, really.. Fact: Did you know that at some point, the C.I.A. thought about replacing human agents with drones? Because nothing says 'trust' like a flying robot..
• Headline: Jets Snap Skid Against Steelers. Impact: The Jets' unexpected victory triggered a series of bets in Vegas that led to a new form of gambling: betting on the Jets actually being competent. Spoiler: it didn't last long.. Fact: Fun fact: The Jets' fans are still waiting for their team to resemble something other than a 'flying circus of confusion'..
• Headline: Frick’s Plan for Expansion Faces Fight Over Loss of Garden. Impact: Frick's expansion plan led to a nationwide movement where museums everywhere began promising gardens, only to later realize that maintaining plants is hard work. Who knew museums were about art AND botany?. Fact: Did you know that the supposed 'garden' was just a place for pigeons to hang out? So, basically, a wildlife sanctuary disguised as a garden..
• Headline: Country Star Strides Back Onto the Stage. Impact: Garth Brooks' return inspired a wave of nostalgia that caused every 90s kid to dig up their old flannel shirts and cowboy hats. It was like a time portal, but with more line dancing.. Fact: Fun fact: Garth Brooks once attempted to release an album under a pseudonym, but it was just too hard to hide that iconic hat..