NOVEMBER 4, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hollywood's Global Influence Event Overview. Impact: Hollywood's fear of losing its grip on global audiences led to a surge in terrible remakes and sequels, spiraling the film industry into an abyss of nostalgia and recycled plots. Thanks for that!. Fact: 90% of movie plots are just variations of 'Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, Boy gets distracted by CGI explosions.'.
• Headline: Role for Russia Gives Iran Talks a Possible Boost. Impact: If this deal goes through, it could lead to a nuclear arms race where Iran and Russia are the best of friends, ensuring all future geopolitical discussions are as awkward as a family reunion.. Fact: Negotiating with Iran is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—nobody really knows how to do it, and it always ends up messy..
• Headline: A Special Child: What’s a Mother to Do?. Impact: This play might just spark a new trend of American parents sending their kids to distant lands because monks claim they're the reincarnations of ancient sages. So, if your kid is acting weird, just blame it on their past life!. Fact: In the theater world, reincarnation is just a fancy way of saying, 'We ran out of original ideas.'.