NOVEMBER 2, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Obama's New Legislative Strategy Unfolds. Impact: Obama's compromise with Republicans led to the eventual creation of a bipartisan pizza party in Congress, where all disagreements were settled over pepperoni slices. Who knew that cheese could unite political foes?. Fact: The last time Congress had a friendly chat, they ended up taking a selfie that broke the internet. Maybe they should stick to pizza..
• Headline: Macy's 34th Street Renovation Revealed. Impact: The $400 million makeover of Macy's sparked a rebellion among grumpy old-fashioned department stores, leading to the rise of thrift shops where vintage is the new black. Sorry, Macy's!. Fact: Macy's used to be called 'R.H. Macy & Co.' but they dropped the 'R.H.' after realizing it was just 'Really Hilarious' to name a store like that..
• Headline: Legions of Faiths, Girded for Battle. Impact: The anthology on world religions ignited a global book club that accidentally became a cult, where members spent more time debating the cover than the content. Literature can be dangerous, folks!. Fact: The anthology is so long that if you read it cover to cover, you might just reach enlightenment... or at least a really sore back..