OCTOBER 29, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Apple Pay Faces Opposition from Retail Giants. Impact: This debacle sparked a series of 'who can pay better' contests among retailers, leading to a world where cash is only for the truly nostalgic, and everyone else is either scanning their phone or arguing over which app is the best. Spoiler alert: it's always the one that crashes at checkout.. Fact: Despite the rivalry, CVS still thinks that coupons are the best way to pay for things. Because nothing says 'futuristic' like clipping paper in 2023..
• Headline: Release of Orson Welles’s Final Film. Impact: The release of Welles's film prompted a cinematic renaissance, inspiring directors to dig through their own unfinished projects. This led to a bizarre trend where every filmmaker suddenly became a historian, claiming unfinished works were actually 'just waiting for the right moment'—who knew procrastination could be so profitable?. Fact: Welles once famously said, 'The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.' Ironically, he could have used a few limitations on his editing skills..
• Headline: Liberia's Empty Hospital Beds and Ebola. Impact: The cautious optimism over empty hospital beds created a ripple effect of public health initiatives that actually worked. Who knew that being overly cautious could lead to better health outcomes? Maybe they should apply this logic to other crises—like politics.. Fact: Ebola has been around for decades, yet it’s still better at making headlines than most reality TV shows. Talk about a viral personality!.
• Headline: Ulysses as an American Slave. Impact: This reimagining of history made waves, leading to a new genre of 'historical reboots' where past events are treated like bad sequels. Expect to see 'Julius Caesar: The Return' in theaters next summer, where he battles modern-day bureaucracy.. Fact: Suzan-Lori Parks's approach shows that even fictional characters can have their narratives rewritten—take that, history books!.