OCTOBER 28, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Secrecy in Mail Tracking Exposed. Impact: The Postal Service's cozy relationship with law enforcement leads to a future where every love letter is treated like a suspicious package. Romance? More like 'Rico Act' in disguise.. Fact: Did you know that your 'happy birthday' card might just be a front for a federal investigation? Nothing says 'I love you' like a little surveillance..
• Headline: Picasso Museum Reopens with Expanded Collection. Impact: Picasso’s return to Paris leads to an explosion of modern art enthusiasts, resulting in a future where everyone believes they can sell their child’s finger painting for millions. Spoiler: They can't.. Fact: Did you know that Picasso's self-portrait is so iconic, even his shadows have their own fan club? It's like a celebrity in a painting!.
• Headline: E.C.B. Stress Tests Seen as Bolstering Confidence in Banks. Impact: Confidence in banks is restored, leading to a boom in questionable financial decisions in the future. Spoiler alert: the 2008 crisis was just a practice round.. Fact: Did you know that 'stress test' sounds a lot like a workout for your wallet? Because your bank account definitely needs some cardio after this..
• Headline: Hillary Clinton’s Comment on Jobs Raises Eyebrows on Wall St.. Impact: Hillary’s eyebrow-raising comment leads to a future where politicians avoid talking about jobs at all costs, resulting in a new form of political theater: 'The Silent Debate'.. Fact: Did you know that in the political world, saying 'corporations don’t create jobs' is the equivalent of saying 'I hate puppies' at a dog show? Awkward!.