OCTOBER 23, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Innovative Retreats for Stressed Executives. Impact: This trend of stressed-out executives flocking to boot camp spas instead of traditional relaxation retreats led to a bizarre future where yoga mats became the new boardrooms, and meditation became the required skill for CEO positions. Who knew zen could be so corporate?. Fact: The original idea for spa retreats was actually just a ploy to sell more bathrobes to high-strung individuals. Guess who’s still cashing in?.
• Headline: Sidelined Borrowers Reenter Housing Market. Impact: The return of sidelined borrowers sparked a wave of DIY home renovation shows, where everyone learned how to 'fix' their credit score with a hammer and nails. Spoiler: It didn’t work out so well.. Fact: The term 'sidelined' was actually first used in sports to describe people who didn’t pay their mortgage. Talk about a rough game!.
• Headline: Mortgage Lenders Seek More Flexibility. Impact: As mortgage lenders begged for more slack, future generations of homebuyers were left wondering if they should just buy a tent instead. The housing market became synonymous with an Olympic event – the high jump over debt!. Fact: In the future, 'relaxed rules' will be interpreted as 'please give us more money to lend to people who can’t pay it back.'.
• Headline: No Picket Fence: Younger Adults Opting to Rent. Impact: This shift towards renting led to a future where picket fences became extinct, and instead, hipster coffee shops began sprouting in front yards. Who needs property when you can have pumpkin spice lattes?. Fact: The last known picket fence was sold on eBay for a ridiculous sum, proving that nostalgia is a lucrative business. Who knew fences could be so trendy?.