OCTOBER 15, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: The True Cost of Affordable Water. Impact: The price of water skyrockets, leading to an underground water smuggling ring where hipsters sell artisanal water from the last remaining natural springs. This fuels a black market for flavored water that becomes the next big trend in 2045.. Fact: Water is the only substance on Earth that can exist in three states: liquid, solid, and completely taken for granted until you realize your local reservoir is drying up..
• Headline: Fed's Inactivity on Crisis Management Blueprint. Impact: The Fed's silence on the Doomsday Book leads to a secret society of economists who start writing their own crisis prevention guides. Their first edition, 'How to Panic Less and Invest More,' becomes a bestseller, but does nothing to stabilize the market.. Fact: If you put all the legal opinions from the Doomsday Book in a room together, they would probably just argue about what color the walls should be painted..
• Headline: C.I.A. Review on Syrian Rebel Assistance. Impact: This CIA study prompts a massive shift in foreign policy, leading to a new era where governments hire YouTube influencers instead of spies to sway public opinion in conflict zones. Spoiler: it doesn't go well.. Fact: The CIA’s attempts at covert operations are like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded—good luck with that, really!.
• Headline: Discovering Stories in the Words Left Behind. Impact: The musical 'Found' sparks a global trend in 'found art,' leading to the rise of 'found' everything—from found furniture to found friends. By 2030, people are hosting parties where guests only bring things they found on the street.. Fact: It’s ironic that the musical is based on snippets of writing, considering most of us just find ourselves lost in our own thoughts on a daily basis..
• Headline: A Raging Grief, Adamantly Undiminished. Impact: Karen Finley's performance piece inspires a new generation of artists to express grief through performance art, ultimately leading to a surge in tissues sold worldwide. The 'Tissue Economy' becomes the next big industry.. Fact: Artistic expressions of grief have been around for centuries, but it took until now for someone to figure out that the best way to deal with loss is to just yell about it on stage..