AUGUST 30, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kurdish Autonomy Grows Amidst ISIS Crisis. Impact: The Kurds' newfound autonomy led to a surge in regional pride, which ironically inspired a whole new genre of folk music about 'the good old days'—which is just a euphemism for when they could actually get a decent cup of coffee without a passport.. Fact: Did you know that the Kurds have been fighting for autonomy since the dawn of time? Or at least since the invention of the wheel, which they probably were also responsible for..
• Headline: Mirjana Lucic-Baroni's U.S. Open Upset. Impact: Mirjana's comeback inspired a flurry of motivational posters featuring cats and clichés about never giving up, leading to a surge in office wall decor that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that tennis players have a tendency to age like fine wine? Some just end up as vinegar, but we don’t talk about those..
• Headline: Are Police Bigoted?. Impact: The question of police bias led to a nationwide debate that somehow ended up with everyone arguing about whether pineapple belongs on pizza, because why not confuse serious issues with food preferences?. Fact: Did you know that asking 'Are police bigoted?' is like asking 'Is water wet?'? Spoiler alert: the answer is yes, but no one can agree on the definition..
• Headline: ISIS Displaying a Deft Command of Varied Media. Impact: ISIS' media savvy made other extremists rethink their branding strategies, resulting in a bizarre trend where even the most serious groups started adopting catchy slogans and hashtags. #TerrorismWithASmile.. Fact: Did you know that ISIS has essentially turned into the world’s least funny marketing agency? They could use some serious PR help, but alas, their Yelp reviews are terrible..