AUGUST 23, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: California Mine Revival Sparks Local Outcry. Impact: If only those forty-niners had known their quest for gold would spark endless debates about environmentalism and capitalism, perhaps they would have just settled for a nice cup of tea instead.. Fact: Did you know that if all the gold mined in California was stacked, it would probably still be less useful than the amount of glitter used in school art projects?.
• Headline: Key Factor in Police Shootings: ‘Reasonable Fear’. Impact: The phrase 'reasonable fear' has opened a Pandora's box of interpretations, allowing every cop to channel their inner philosopher while still keeping the streets unpredictable.. Fact: Did you know that 'reasonable fear’ is just a fancy way of saying, 'I'm scared and I might shoot you'? It's a real game-changer in law enforcement logic!.
• Headline: U.S. Officials and Experts at Odds on Threat Posed by ISIS. Impact: The U.S. officials' disagreement on ISIS's threat level means that future historians might have a field day dissecting the number of coffee breaks taken during national security meetings.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than U.S. policy on ISIS is trying to explain it to someone who just woke up from a 10-year nap?.