AUGUST 8, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Walmart Enters Primary Care Market. Impact: Walmart's foray into primary care services inadvertently leads to a future where checkout lines at grocery stores double as waiting rooms. Who knew you could pick up groceries and a prescription for your anxiety all in one trip?. Fact: Walmart's slogan could soon be 'Save Money. Live Better. Get a check-up while you're at it.' Because nothing says healthcare like buying a 12-pack of soda..
• Headline: China's Tech Bank Surges Post I.P.O.. Impact: The rise of this upstart bank spawns a financial tech revolution, leading to a dystopian future where robots handle all banking decisions. Spoiler: they still can't understand your mortgage application.. Fact: In 2019, the word 'blockchain' came close to becoming more popular than ' avocado toast '..
• Headline: Writers Unite Against Amazon's Dominance. Impact: This writer revolt against Amazon creates a ripple effect resulting in an underground literary society where authors swap books for food. Forget food banks; it's all about the literary soup kitchens now!. Fact: If you stack all the letters from the Amazon complaint letters, they could reach the moon. Or at least the nearest Starbucks..
• Headline: ‘Don’t Touch the Walls’: Ebola Fears Infect an African Hospital. Impact: The Ebola outbreak leads to a global health response that ultimately results in the creation of a superhero team known as 'The Containment Crew'. Their powers? Rapid response and the ability to deliver bad news with a smile.. Fact: Ebola used to be called 'the virus that nobody invited to the party', but it crashed anyway..