JUNE 24, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Recall of Generic Toprol XL Heart Drug. Impact: The recall of these generic drugs led to a public outcry that eventually caused pharmaceutical companies to invest heavily in PR campaigns to convince everyone that their products are safe. This led to the rise of influencers in the health sector, who now recommend kale smoothies as a cure for everything. Thanks, Toprol XL!. Fact: Did you know that the first recorded drug recall in history was just a guy named Bob asking his neighbors to stop using his homemade cough syrup? Spoiler: It didn't work out well..
• Headline: Dov Charney's Controversial Departure Explained. Impact: Charney’s dismissal sent shockwaves through the fashion industry, leading to a sudden demand for more clothed CEOs. This resulted in a bizarre fashion trend where corporate leaders started wearing oversized suits, inadvertently making them look like walking tents. Fashion faux pas or genius? You decide!. Fact: Did you know that American Apparel was once so popular that people thought 'Dov Charney' was just a trendy new fabric? Spoiler: It was not..
• Headline: In Time Warp of Soccer, It Ain’t Over Till ... Who Knows?. Impact: The vague stoppage time rule in soccer led to a worldwide increase in people yelling at their TVs, which eventually resulted in the invention of noise-canceling headphones. Now, the only thing louder than the fans are the companies profiting from their frustration!. Fact: Did you know that soccer games used to end exactly when the clock hit 90 minutes? But then someone thought, 'What if we made it confusing?' And thus, stoppage time was born..
• Headline: 2nd Bridge Inquiry Said to Be Linked to Christie. Impact: The inquiry into Christie’s administration led to a nationwide movement of people demanding accountability from their politicians. This sparked the creation of the 'Politician Accountability App,' which later became a dating app for those who enjoy discussing fiscal policy on first dates.. Fact: Did you know that Chris Christie once tried to close a bridge just to get some peace and quiet while eating his lunch? It didn’t work, but he did discover the joys of a nice, long traffic jam..