JUNE 21, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Presbyterians Approve Divestment Against Israel. Impact: This bold move led to an unexpected surge in church bake sales, as congregations sought to fund their operations without the usual corporate sponsors. The butterfly flapped, and suddenly everyone was more interested in gluten-free options.. Fact: Did you know that the last time a church took a stand this seriously, they ended up in a musical? Yes, 'Godspell' was practically a protest anthem..
• Headline: Shifting Perspectives on Immigration in Texas. Impact: Farmers Branch's attempts to curb immigration made them a case study in how not to write laws. This inspired a whole new genre of 'How-To' books for politicians: 'Blur the Lines Like a Pro!'. Fact: Funny enough, the only thing more blurred than those lines is the vision of the politicians who wrote them..
• Headline: Wealth and Strategy of Iraq Insurgents. Impact: The rise of financial sophistication among insurgents inadvertently led to the creation of 'Terrorist Investment 101' courses at underground universities, teaching future extremists how to balance their checkbooks.. Fact: Did you know that some of the wealthiest insurgents now have a better business model than half of Silicon Valley? Talk about a startup culture!.
• Headline: Held Captive by Flawed Credit Reports. Impact: The outrage over erroneous credit reports led to a nationwide movement to replace credit scores with more accurate assessments, like how many times someone has been ghosted on a dating app. Spoiler: the results were not pretty.. Fact: Did you know that fixing a credit report error is like finding a unicorn? Rare, magical, and most likely to leave you broke after the chase..