JUNE 14, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Reservation Apps. Impact: The rise of table reservation apps led to a global shortage of greasing palms, which in turn sparked an underground industry where people are now bribing their own tables with home-cooked meals. Restaurants are now serving 'bribery lasagna' on their menus.. Fact: Did you know that before apps, people used to just call restaurants? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Shiite Militias Mobilizing Amid Sunni Threats. Impact: As Shiites joined militias, a strange butterfly effect created an unexpected demand for tactical training classes in community centers, turning self-defense courses into the hottest trend in urban neighborhoods.. Fact: Interestingly, many of these militias now offer loyalty programs, because who doesn’t love a good perk while fighting for their lives?.
• Headline: Liver Disease Epidemic Linked to Obesity. Impact: The liver illness linked to obesity led to a bizarre trend where people began naming their livers, hoping that personalizing their organs would somehow convince them to stop being so fat and lazy. Spoiler: It didn't work.. Fact: Did you know that your liver can regenerate? It’s like a superhero with a drinking problem!.
• Headline: Pension Funds, Dancing a Two-Step With Ratings Firms. Impact: The dance between pension funds and ratings firms created a bizarre new genre of dance music known as 'Financial Funk,' which oddly enough, made investors want to dance away from their responsibilities.. Fact: Fun fact: If you think your pension fund is a good dancer, wait until you see it try to tango with the market!.
• Headline: Allergan, Defending Its Fort Botox. Impact: Allergan's defense of Botox sparked a global beauty arms race, where companies began developing increasingly outrageous cosmetic procedures, including 'Botox for your soul'—totally not a real thing yet, but give it time.. Fact: Did you know the first Botox injections were actually used to treat eye spasms? Who knew fixing a twitch would lead to the fountain of youth?.