MAY 28, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Impact of Concentrated Markets on Economy. Impact: The lack of competition led to a society where people began to barter with chickens instead of cash. Eventually, chicken became the global currency, and economists had to rewrite their textbooks to include "Cluckonomics.". Fact: Did you know that if you combine a monopoly with a lack of regulation, you get a fancy term called 'oligopoly'? Sounds like a game nobody wants to play, yet here we are..
• Headline: Players Turn to Analytics Expert for Insight. Impact: The rise of analytics consultants turned sports into a numbers game, where players started negotiating contracts based on their 'expected value' rather than their actual ability. Soon, we had players with PhDs in statistics but no clue how to dribble a basketball.. Fact: Did you know that hiring a consultant can make you feel important, even if you’re just paying someone to tell you what you already know? Welcome to the world of sports!.
• Headline: Home Prices Easing: A Positive Shift. Impact: The easing of home prices led to a mass migration of millennials from their parents' basements to overpriced shoebox apartments, which later inspired a new reality show called 'Tiny Homes, Big Regrets.'. Fact: Did you know that 'sustainable' and 'stable' are just fancy words for 'we're not sure what’s happening, but please don’t panic'? It's like the economic version of a reassuring hug..
• Headline: Google’s Next Phase in Driverless Cars: No Steering Wheel or Brake Pedals. Impact: With driverless cars taking over, humans found themselves in a new dystopia where asking for directions became obsolete, leading to a renaissance of awkward small talk in elevators instead. Hi, how's your robot doing?. Fact: Did you know that steering wheels were invented to prevent drivers from crashing into things? Now, we’re just hoping the robots don’t decide to crash into each other instead..
• Headline: Obama Warns U.S. Faces Diffuse Terrorism Threats. Impact: Obama's warning about diffuse terrorism threats led to a fascinating trend where people started to fear every suspicious-looking sandwich, leading to the great 'Panic of the Panini' in 2015.. Fact: Did you know that diplomacy is just a fancy word for 'talking it out until someone cries'? And no one ever gets a medal for that..