APRIL 29, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: White House Urges Colleges Against Campus Rape. Impact: This press from the White House led to a nationwide cultural shift, causing future generations to discuss consent at dinner parties instead of just the weather. The ripple effect? A significant increase in awkward silence during family gatherings.. Fact: Did you know that the White House once had a pet goat? Imagine if it had been a mascot for a campaign against campus rape – that would have really changed the conversation!.
• Headline: Exploring China's Unique Hotel Branding. Impact: The rise of hotels with names that sound like Western brands created a global epidemic of confusion among travelers, leading to an entire genre of travel blogs dedicated to 'What not to book.'. Fact: Did you know that many of these hotels serve a special 'confusion cocktail' at check-in? It's just watered-down gin with a hint of regret..
• Headline: Fed Cuts Bond Buying Again. Impact: The Fed's decisions on bond buying not only affected the economy but also inspired a generation of economists to form support groups for those suffering from 'bond-buying withdrawal.'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'quantitative easing' was almost replaced by the far more exciting 'financial funhouse'? Maybe we would have seen more enthusiastic participation!.
• Headline: G.A.O. Report Sees Deeper Bank Flaws in Foreclosures. Impact: The GAO report on bank flaws in foreclosures led to a series of laws that guaranteed future generations could enjoy the thrill of watching their money vanish into the abyss of corporate greed. A real-life horror story!. Fact: Did you know that if you stack all the foreclosure paperwork ever filed, it would reach the moon? Just kidding, but it would definitely make for a boring space mission..