APRIL 19, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Salmon Rescue: A Journey to the Sea. Impact: If these salmon had just swam on their own, perhaps we'd have a race of super-intelligent fish by now, negotiating treaties with humans for better water rights. Instead, we just have truckers who probably think they're the new Aquaman.. Fact: Did you know that salmon can leap up to 12 feet in the air? Imagine if they were just trying to escape the truck ride instead!.
• Headline: Heartbleed Reveals Web Development Paradox. Impact: The Heartbleed bug could be the reason your grandma thinks 'the cloud' is just a fluffy thing in the sky. Little did we know, this digital hiccup might have led to the rise of even more convoluted passwords, like 'P@ssw0rd1234!' to keep hackers at bay.. Fact: Fun fact: Heartbleed was so bad that it made users reconsider using 'password' as their password. Progress!.
• Headline: Surge in Health Care Spending Raises Concerns. Impact: This surge in health care spending could lead to a future where a simple cough costs more than your car. Who knew that insurance debates could pave the way for the rise of bartering services like 'I'll fix your roof if you check my cholesterol'?. Fact: Did you know that in 2015, the U.S. spent more than $3 trillion on health care? That's enough to buy everyone in the country a lifetime supply of kale... or to fund a few more government studies on why kale is good for you..
• Headline: In a Hole, Golf Considers Digging a Wider One. Impact: As golf considers digging wider holes, we may eventually see a future where the sport evolves into something resembling a bizarre, oversized version of croquet. Who knew the fate of golf depended on the width of a hole?. Fact: Did you know that golf was once banned in Scotland in the 15th century because it distracted soldiers from practicing archery? Talk about priorities!.
• Headline: Covert Inquiry by F.B.I. Rattles 9/11 Tribunals. Impact: This covert FBI inquiry could lead to a future where every legal proceeding is shrouded in more mystery than a season finale of a soap opera. Spoiler alert: the truth is always stranger than fiction.. Fact: The 9/11 tribunals have become so infamous that they could probably launch a reality TV show called 'Guantánamo's Got Talent,' where the talent is mostly dodging tough questions..