APRIL 7, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Briefs China on Cyberwar Strategy. Impact: This attempt at transparency could have led to a cyber world where nations communicate through emojis instead of cyberattacks. Just imagine: global diplomacy reduced to GIFs and memes!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'cyberwarfare' was first used in the 1990s? Back then, it mostly involved sending annoying emails and hacking into each other’s AOL Instant Messenger accounts..
• Headline: Irish Dominate Maryland for Championship Spot. Impact: Notre Dame's victory set off a chain reaction of shameless bandwagon fans across the country, eventually leading to the creation of a new trend: wearing team jerseys to non-sporting events. Thanks, Irish!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Irish are unstoppable' has also been used to describe their ability to queue at pubs? Just saying..
• Headline: More Deportations Follow Minor Crimes, Records Show. Impact: This trend of deporting individuals for minor crimes has created a world where people are now more afraid of jaywalking than being attacked by a bear. Imagine a society where you might get deported for forgetting to recycle!. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. once deported a man for having too many parking tickets? Talk about taking 'no parking' signs seriously!.
• Headline: Cities Advance Their Fight Against Rising Inequality. Impact: As cities attempt to tackle income inequality, this could lead to a future where every citizen receives a monthly 'I’m sorry for the system' check. Just think, the government could literally pay us to complain!. Fact: Did you know that income inequality has been around since the dawn of civilization? The difference is, back then, you could just blame it on a bad harvest instead of bad policy..