MARCH 24, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Three Presidents vs. Putin's Riddles. Impact: If only the U.S. presidents had known that arguing with Putin would lead to a series of international incidents and meme-worthy moments, they might have opted for a nice game of chess instead. Who knew a riddle could cause so much chaos?. Fact: Did you know the most effective way to annoy a world leader is to keep them waiting? If only they had a waiting room with coffee and donuts, maybe diplomacy would have gone smoother..
• Headline: The Impact of Metrics on News Reporting. Impact: As reporters play in traffic, they inadvertently pave the way for future journalists to dodge cars while reporting on the latest TikTok trends. Who knew metrics could lead to such a dangerous career path?. Fact: Fun fact: Most news organizations now use metrics to determine how many clicks a kitten video gets. Because clearly, that’s the news we all need..
• Headline: Japan Transfers Control of Nuclear Materials. Impact: This fateful decision to hand over nuclear materials to the U.S. resulted in Japan becoming the world’s most cautious game of ‘Hot Potato’—with a very explosive twist. Who knew nuclear diplomacy could be so... radioactive?. Fact: Did you know that 'weapons-grade plutonium' is just a fancy term for 'stuff you definitely don't want to find in your garage'?.
• Headline: Another Victim of Global Financial Crisis: Pro Soccer Players. Impact: The financial crisis didn’t just ruin the economy; it also turned professional soccer into a game of musical chairs where everyone loses. Imagine if soccer players started moonlighting as baristas to pay the bills!. Fact: Did you know that some pro soccer players have more experience in contract negotiations than most lawyers? Maybe they should start a new career in law instead of sports..
• Headline: Bringing Him Home, Yet Again. Impact: The return of Hugo’s work to Broadway was the first step in a long saga of adaptations reminding us that Hollywood and theater are like two stubborn siblings fighting over the same toy. Spoiler alert: the toy is always a musical!. Fact: Did you know that 'Les Misérables' translates to 'The Miserable Ones'? Just like the audience when they realize they've bought tickets to another three-hour emotional rollercoaster..