MARCH 4, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fictional Disaster Leads to F.C.C. Penalty. Impact: This fictional disaster led to a real disaster in the form of an FCC fine, which then prompted cable companies to create even more outrageous marketing stunts that could potentially lead to a real disaster in the future. You know, like a superhero movie that turns into actual superhero escapades. Watch out, Marvel!. Fact: The FCC fined Comcast, Viacom, and Disney for being dramatic. Apparently, the real-life drama wasn’t enough to keep viewers glued to their screens. Maybe they should have just hired a soap opera writer..
• Headline: Wrongful Bankruptcy and Business Loss. Impact: Maury’s battle with U.S. Bancorp has created a ripple effect of small business owners becoming wary of banks, leading to a sudden spike in 'DIY Banking' workshops where people learn how to hide their money in coffee cans.. Fact: Did you know that involuntary bankruptcy is like getting dumped but the court is the one who actually breaks up with your business? Ouch..
• Headline: Top Russians Face Sanctions by U.S. for Crimea Crisis. Impact: The sanctions against top Russians for the Crimea crisis have led to an intricate web of international politics, resulting in a global game of 'who can act more petty,' which ultimately causes a decline in diplomatic niceties and a rise in meme culture.. Fact: Sanctions are like the world's way of saying, 'We’re not mad, just disappointed.' Because nothing says 'diplomatic relations' like a good ol' economic slap on the wrist..