FEBRUARY 25, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Steel Industry Adapts to Aluminum Demand. Impact: This shift to aluminum sparked a secret competition, resulting in the 'Great Lightweight Wars' of the 2040s, where car manufacturers turned to featherweight materials, leading to vehicles that could fly but only at 5 mph.. Fact: Did you know that steel once tried to start a band called 'Rusty Rivets'? They didn’t get very far, mostly because they couldn’t find a good lead singer—too heavy..
• Headline: Colorblind Notion Aside, Colleges Grapple With Racial Tension. Impact: The racial tensions on campuses triggered a nationwide movement to create 'Safe Space Colleges' where students could only attend if they agreed to speak in emojis, ultimately leading to the Emoji Wars of 2028.. Fact: Did you know that 'colorblindness' in the context of racial tension originally referred to a very confused artist trying to paint a rainbow without using any colors?.
• Headline: Pension Funds Sue on a Deal Gone Cold. Impact: This lawsuit set off a chain reaction in the financial world, where hedge fund managers began wearing superhero capes to court, claiming they were 'just trying to save the day'—spoiler alert: they didn’t.. Fact: Did you know that Ponzi schemes were named after Charles Ponzi, who thought he could make money by just selling tickets to his own life story? Turns out, nobody wanted to buy that..