JANUARY 31, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lake Urmia's Crisis: Iran's Water Emergency. Impact: When Iran decided to confront its water crisis, it inadvertently inspired a new wave of conspiracy theorists who believe water shortages are a secret government plot to control the populace. Cue the tinfoil hats!. Fact: Did you know that Lake Urmia was once so big it could be seen from space? Now it's just a sad reminder of what happens when you forget to water your plants... on a national level..
• Headline: Airlines Revamp In-Flight Safety Videos. Impact: After airlines decided to spice up safety videos with 'Alf' references, a new trend emerged: passengers suddenly started wanting to fly with extraterrestrial beings, thinking they’d have better in-flight entertainment.. Fact: Did you know that in-flight safety demonstrations are the only time people will pay attention to someone talking for more than 30 seconds without scrolling their phones? Who knew 'Alf' would be the ticket to engagement?.
• Headline: Exploring Brecht's Early Work. Impact: The production of 'A Man's a Man' led to an unexpected surge in existential crises among theatergoers, prompting a nationwide shortage of therapists and an uptick in deep conversations about masculinity at bars.. Fact: Fun fact: Bertolt Brecht was known for his 'epic theater,' which is a fancy way of saying he wanted you to leave the theater thinking instead of just crying over your popcorn..
• Headline: In Landrieu Races, Obama Helps and Hinders. Impact: Obama's involvement in the Landrieu races created a butterfly effect where future politicians began to think they could just show up and wave their arms to magically sway voters. Spoiler alert: it didn't work out well in the long run.. Fact: Did you know that Louisiana politics are like a gumbo? A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a lot of confusion about what's actually in it!.
• Headline: GoPro Sees Opportunity in Its Amateur Daredevils. Impact: GoPro's pivot to media company status sparked a revolution in amateur content creation, resulting in an explosion of ridiculous stunt videos that left insurance companies weeping at the sheer volume of claims.. Fact: Did you know that GoPro cameras are like the Swiss Army knives of the digital age? They can capture your embarrassing moments in high definition, all while making you feel like a superhero... until you wipe out, of course..