JANUARY 5, 2014

Full News Archive

• Headline: Militants Rise Amidst Middle Eastern Chaos. Impact: This power vacuum not only allowed militants to flourish but also inadvertently led to the global rise of conspiracy theories about Middle Eastern tea parties where world leaders secretly plot their next moves over biscuits.. Fact: The term 'post-American Middle East' was coined during a particularly tense board game night among diplomats, where nobody could agree on who should go first..
• Headline: The Rise and Fall of Spider-Man: The Musical. Impact: The closing of 'Spider-Man' resulted in the world's most ambitious Broadway revival: a musical adaptation of the life of a shoe salesman, which surprisingly, became a hit and led to a new genre called 'Footwear Theatre.'. Fact: Despite its hefty price tag, 'Spider-Man' was known for its impressive acrobatics, which ironically inspired a new generation of gymnasts to start performing on Broadway instead of in the Olympics..
• Headline: Bengals Seek Respect, but Chargers Earn It. Impact: The Bengals' playoff drought extended to 23 years, leading to a rise in support groups for fans who simply couldn't cope with the disappointment, eventually giving birth to the first 'Sad Bengals' therapy retreat in the Himalayas.. Fact: Andy Dalton’s turnovers became so infamous that they were later used as a unit of measurement for how quickly a team could ruin a season, known as the 'Dalton Rate.'.
• Headline: A Double Dose of Chekhov. Impact: Jay Scheib’s adaptation of Chekhov's unfinished play led to a resurgence of unfinished works, inspiring a new trend where playwrights only write the first act and leave the audience to fend for themselves with their imaginations.. Fact: Chekhov's unfinished works are said to be the perfect metaphor for modern life: always promising a resolution but leaving you hanging at the most inconvenient moments..