DECEMBER 27, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reviving Ranch Lands for Investment Gains. Impact: If these ranches hadn't been restored, we might still be living in a world where people thought hunting was an Olympic sport. Thanks to the 'Trout Dividend,' we can now fish while ignoring our existential crises.. Fact: Did you know that trout dividends are not actually a form of cryptocurrency? Just kidding, they should be!.
• Headline: Lenovo's Bold Smartphone Expansion in 2014. Impact: Lenovo's smartphone ambitions might have led to a future where every device can not only tell you the weather but also gossip about your last breakup. Thanks, tech!. Fact: Did you know that Lenovo is the only company that can turn your phone into a personal therapist? Just kidding, that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen..
• Headline: Diversity Challenges in NYC Police Department. Impact: The ongoing struggle for diversity in police departments might just lead to a future where officers can accurately represent the communities they serve, or at least understand who their neighbors are beyond stereotypes.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'to protect and serve' was almost 'to judge and jive'? Yeah, it didn’t make the cut..
• Headline: After Carriers Falter, Questions for Web Shopping. Impact: If shipping prices had been reevaluated sooner, we might have avoided the great 'I ordered a couch and it showed up in pieces' debacle of 2015. Thanks, analysts, for your timely insights!. Fact: Did you know that some people still think 'free shipping' is a form of customer service? Surprise! It's just a marketing ploy to get you to buy more stuff you don't need..
• Headline: Utah Ruling Means No Respite for the Supreme Court on Same-Sex Marriage. Impact: The Supreme Court's indecisiveness on same-sex marriage could have led to an alternate timeline where everyone just married their Wi-Fi routers. Thankfully, love prevailed eventually.. Fact: Did you know that same-sex marriage was once considered more controversial than pineapple on pizza? Now, that's an achievement!.