DECEMBER 12, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Charlamagne Tha God: The Fearless Interviewer. Impact: As Charlamagne continues to put celebs on blast, he inadvertently creates a generation of overly honest influencers. By 2040, no one will be able to lie about their avocado toast habits without getting a public roasting.. Fact: Did you know that Charlamagne's real name is Lenard McKelvey? Yeah, because 'Charlamagne Tha God' was just too subtle for a guy who puts the spotlight on celebrities like a high school talent show..
• Headline: The Art of Luxurious Candles. Impact: The rise of the $100 candle leads to a global shortage of beeswax as wannabe hipsters fight over artisanal scents. In 2035, candle-making becomes a competitive sport, complete with Olympic trials.. Fact: Did you know that some people actually collect candles? It's true! The same folks who think $100 for a candle is reasonable probably also own a collection of limited edition spoons..
• Headline: Bayer Shifts Focus to Varroa Mites. Impact: Bayer's shift in blame to varroa mites leads to a conspiracy theory that these mites are actually government spies sent to infiltrate the bee community. By 2025, bees start forming unions to protest against their unfair treatment.. Fact: Did you know that honey bees are responsible for about one-third of the food we eat? So, if they go extinct, we might want to start investing in a bee cloning lab instead of blaming mites..