NOVEMBER 10, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Inside Obama's Secret Travel Setup. Impact: If only Obama had known that setting up a portable zone of secrecy would lead to the invention of portable privacy tents for introverts at parties. Next thing you know, social gatherings have a 'quiet corner' for those needing a break from human interaction.. Fact: Did you know that some assembly is required for more than just furniture from IKEA? Apparently, even presidential privacy comes with instructions..
• Headline: Conservative Catholics Critique Pope Francis. Impact: The Pope's embrace of a broader audience led to a schism so great, it inspired a new dance craze called the 'Holy Shuffle,' where you sidestep controversial topics and moonwalk away from tough conversations.. Fact: Fun fact: the Catholic Church has a longer list of 'do nots' than your average high school principal. Talk about strict!.
• Headline: Con Artists Exploit Health Care Confusion. Impact: The rise of con men during the health care confusion eventually led to the creation of a successful reality TV show called 'Scam City,' where contestants try to outsmart each other in making the worst financial decisions possible.. Fact: Did you know that if you combine 'Affordable' and 'Care' you get 'Confusion' for many Americans? It's like a magic trick gone wrong..
• Headline: As Washington Keeps Sinking, Governors Rise. Impact: As governors stepped up while Washington floundered, it inspired state leaders to form a new superhero league called 'The Governators,' fighting political incompetence one state at a time.. Fact: Did you know that in politics, 'getting things done' is often just code for 'not throwing tantrums in public'? A real skill!.
• Headline: Alabama Reminds Everyone It’s No. 1. Impact: Alabama's brief moment of glory reminded other states that sometimes the best strategy is to just seize control of the narrative. This led to a nationwide trend of states adopting slogans like 'We're Not Losing... Just Taking a Breather.'. Fact: Did you know that Alabama's football fans are so dedicated, they often refer to their team as 'my religion'? No wonder they’re No. 1 in their hearts!.