OCTOBER 28, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gawker's Controversial Disclosure on Sexual Orientation. Impact: When Gawker decided to air out the closet, it accidentally activated a time loop that led to an era where people are more concerned with the latest TikTok dance than who someone loves. Congratulations, society!. Fact: Did you know that back in the day, being in the closet was more of a metaphor? Now, it’s basically a real estate market!.
• Headline: Twitter Eyes Lucrative I.P.O. Market. Impact: Twitter’s IPO aspirations sent ripples through time, eventually leading to the rise of influencers who think their opinion on avocado toast is worth more than a PhD. Thanks, Twitter!. Fact: Did you know that the original Twitter IPO pitch was just a chirping bird with a stock ticker? They really sold the idea of 'tweeting' like it was a real job!.
• Headline: F.D.A. Enacts New Painkiller Regulations. Impact: The F.D.A.'s decision on painkillers not only changed drug policies but created an underground market for grandma's secret herbal remedies. Who knew herbal tea could be so revolutionary?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'painkiller' used to refer to a good cup of coffee? I guess that’s how we ended up addicted to caffeine instead!.
• Headline: Forging an Art Market in China. Impact: The burgeoning art market in China inadvertently set off a global replica trend, causing people to ponder if their IKEA artwork was actually worth millions. Spoiler: it’s not.. Fact: Did you know that the art world has more fakes than a 'handcrafted' souvenir shop? Yeah, that Picasso might just be a really talented printer!.
• Headline: Media Outlets Embrace Conferences as Profits Rise. Impact: As media outlets embraced conferences, they unknowingly birthed a new genre: the awkward panel discussion. Future historians will wonder how we survived such cringe.. Fact: Did you know that live media conferences used to be just called 'meetings'? Now they’re a mix of TED Talks and awkward networking that nobody asked for!.