OCTOBER 20, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lobbyists Mobilize for Budget Negotiations. Impact: This little lobbying skirmish eventually led to the rise of budgetary ninja warriors who wielded spreadsheets like swords, forever altering the landscape of American spending debates. Who knew arguing over money could spawn a new breed of fiscal gladiators?. Fact: Did you know that lobbying is one of the few professions where you can legally pay people to advocate for your interests? It’s like a legal version of buying friends, but with more paperwork!.
• Headline: Marina Abramovic's Institute Under Construction. Impact: Abramovic's institute became a hub for aspiring artists, inadvertently leading to a global shortage of performance art that's both serious and pretentious. The subsequent rise of interpretive dance-based memes could probably be traced back to this very moment.. Fact: Fun fact: Building an institute with your name on it is basically the performance artist’s version of planting a flag on the moon. Except, you know, with more drama and less space!.
• Headline: G.O.P. Battles Over Fiscal Crisis Ideals. Impact: The G.O.P.'s 'Civil War' set off a chain reaction that sparked countless debates, social media rants, and the invention of new terms like 'Establishment RINO' – a phrase that would haunt political discussions for years to come.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Civil War' has been used so frequently in politics that historians are considering it for inclusion in the next edition of 'Overused Phrases in American History'?.
• Headline: The Man Who’ll Do Triage on Europe’s Banks. Impact: Angeloni's role in triaging Europe’s banks was the financial equivalent of a doctor telling you to stop eating cake. It forced banks to shape up or ship out, ultimately leading to an era of banking where 'too big to fail' became 'too big to care.'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'triage' originally comes from battlefield medicine? So, in a way, Angeloni was like the doctor of the euro zone, applying a tourniquet to financial hemorrhaging. Just without the blood... hopefully..