OCTOBER 15, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Landline Decline Post-Hurricane Sandy. Impact: The end of landlines in Mantoloking didn't just mark the decline of a communication method; it led to a renaissance of carrier pigeons and smoke signals. Who knew that no one would ever want to hear, "Can you hear me now?" again?. Fact: Did you know that landlines were once considered a sign of wealth? So much for that; now you just need to have a decent Wi-Fi connection to feel rich!.
• Headline: Dimon Under Fire: A Leadership Controversy. Impact: Jamie Dimon's rollercoaster of a career led to the creation of a new board game: "Dodge the Lawsuit!" Players navigate through lawsuits while trying to avoid being ousted. Spoiler: everyone ends up bankrupt.. Fact: Fun fact: Jamie Dimon has survived more calls for his ouster than most reality TV contestants. At this point, he should be on a survival show!.
• Headline: Senate Women Lead in Effort to Find Accord. Impact: Senator Collins' bipartisan initiative became the stuff of legend, inspiring future politicians to form alliances over snacks and coffee instead of actual issues. Who knew a donut could save the government?. Fact: Did you know that bipartisan efforts often include more coffee breaks than actual agreements? Perhaps a caffeine-fueled consensus is the way to go!.