OCTOBER 12, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Child Safety: The Car Seat Quandary. Impact: If only car seats had been invented earlier, maybe fewer people would have gotten stuck in awkward family road trip memories. But alas, the butterfly flaps its wings, and here we are—still wrestling with seat belts instead of enjoying quality karaoke time in the backseat.. Fact: Did you know that the first car seats were just glorified pillows? So, you know, safety has come a long way... or maybe just a short drive..
• Headline: Janet Ruttenberg's First Public Exhibition. Impact: Janet Ruttenberg's decision to finally exhibit her work led to a modern art movement where wealthy recluse artists decided to sell their art only under the condition that it be displayed in a space that smells like old money and regrets. Who knew a gallery could double as a time capsule?. Fact: Fun fact: Janet is the only 82-year-old who still thinks 'public' is a bad word. It's like a modern-day version of the 'I don't want my art to be mainstream' tantrum..
• Headline: Airlines Monetize Carry-On Baggage Space. Impact: As airlines began charging for every inch, we should have seen it coming: the eventual rise of the 'carry-on space rental market.' Soon, people will start renting out their overhead bin space like it's a New York City apartment.. Fact: Did you know that the average person spends 5 minutes fighting over carry-on space? Well, that’s 5 minutes less they could spend contemplating their life choices in the cramped airplane bathroom..
• Headline: Wooing ‘Hometown Industry,’ de Blasio Meets Wary Wall St.. Impact: Bill de Blasio's attempts to woo Wall Street just cemented the concept that politicians will always chase money like it's a lost dog in a crowded park. Spoiler alert: it never comes back.. Fact: Did you know that courting plutocrats is a lot like dating? It's all about the small talk and pretending you enjoy their gourmet cheese choices..
• Headline: One Long Night in Puzzle City. Impact: The 'Midnight Madness' puzzle-solving competition inspired a new genre of reality TV where contestants solve increasingly absurd problems while sleep-deprived, paving the way for future shows like 'Who Can Stay Awake the Longest While Solving Their Life Problems?'. Fact: Did you know that after hours of puzzle-solving, the brain can actually start seeing clues in everyday objects? So, if you see someone trying to solve a Rubik's Cube at 3 AM in a diner, just know they might be having an existential crisis..