OCTOBER 2, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hollywood Moves Forward with Clinton Biopic. Impact: If 'Rodham' becomes a cult classic, it could inadvertently inspire a generation of lawyers to don blue pantsuits and say, 'I’m with her!' at every cocktail party, altering the entire fashion landscape of Washington D.C. forever. Who knew politics could be so stylish?. Fact: Did you know that Hillary Rodham Clinton has more pantsuits than a superhero has capes? Talk about a powerful wardrobe!.
• Headline: Store Brands Surge in Popularity. Impact: The rise of store-brand products could lead to an international conspiracy among national brands to start hiding their logos in plain sight, resulting in a world where no one knows the difference between generic and gourmet. Welcome to the Matrix of grocery shopping!. Fact: Did you know that store-brand products are just like their national brand counterparts but with significantly fewer marketing dollars? Who knew the secret to savings was just less advertising?.
• Headline: Chirlane McCray: From Outsider to Campaign Force. Impact: Chirlane McCray's newfound visibility in her husband's campaign may lead to a future where spouses of politicians are the real power brokers, leading to a bizarre world where every election cycle feels more like a family reunion than a competition.. Fact: Did you know that Chirlane McCray was once a poet? Imagine if all political spouses started reciting poetry during debates. 'Roses are red, violets are blue, vote for my husband, or I’ll rhyme you!'.
• Headline: Japan’s Nuclear Refugees, Still Stuck in Limbo. Impact: The ongoing plight of Japan's nuclear refugees could inspire a global movement for better disaster response policies, eventually leading to the establishment of a 'Nuclear Refugee Day' where people worldwide wear Geiger counters in solidarity. Fashionable, yet terrifying.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'nuclear refugee' sounds like a plot twist in a Hollywood disaster movie? Spoiler alert: it’s real life, and it’s not as exciting as it sounds..