SEPTEMBER 19, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Iran's Commitment to Disarmament Announced. Impact: This thaw in relations sparked an unexpected global trend of diplomatic ice sculpture festivals, where world leaders competed to carve the most intricate representations of peace. Naturally, the sculptures melted faster than any real progress.. Fact: Iran's leaders claiming they won't seek nuclear weapons is like a toddler promising not to touch the cookie jar—it's a nice thought but let's keep an eye on them, just in case..
• Headline: MF Global Vendor Payment Controversy. Impact: As vendors scrambled to defend their payments, they inadvertently created a new trend in legal drama podcasts, with riveting tales of financial despair and courtroom antics that somehow made bankruptcy sound like an exciting adventure.. Fact: Threatening letters to vendors are basically a fancy way of saying, 'I need you to panic in 3...2...1...' who knew bankruptcy could be such a thrilling game?.
• Headline: Sectarian Violence Reignites in an Iraqi Town. Impact: The renewed violence in Iraq led to a spike in demand for conflict resolution seminars, where the only resolution was to avoid the area altogether. If only they had a time machine to go back and change some decisions.. Fact: Sectarian violence in Iraq has been a tragic and prevalent issue. It's a sad reminder that sometimes, history doesn’t care about the lessons we think we've learned..