AUGUST 26, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tech Industry Reflects on Microsoft's Missed Opportunities. Impact: After this headline, young techies started wearing oversized glasses, thinking it would grant them the charisma of Ballmer. This led to a global shortage of hipster frames, boosting the economy of small-town optical shops and inadvertently creating a new trend in eyewear.. Fact: Did you know that Steve Ballmer once bought a $42 million basketball team? Guess he figured if he couldn't sell software, he could at least sell tickets to watch people throw balls through hoops..
• Headline: Journalist Rivalry Over Security Leaks. Impact: As journalists began to battle each other, it sparked a new genre of reality television where reporters would compete in absurd challenges for the 'scoop of the century.' Ratings soared, but journalistic integrity plummeted.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'fake news' was initially coined during a heated debate over whether pineapple belongs on pizza? Just kidding, but it certainly feels like it’s as relevant..
• Headline: Amgen Acquires Onyx for Cancer Combat. Impact: This acquisition led to an arms race in the pharmaceutical industry, where companies began buying up entire continents for their natural resources in a bid to outdo one another. Spoiler alert: it didn't go well.. Fact: Did you know that Amgen's name is a portmanteau of 'Applied Molecular Genetics'? Sounds fancy, until you realize it’s just science's way of saying they mix things together until something works..
• Headline: Egypt Military Enlists Religion to Quell Ranks. Impact: The Egyptian military's reliance on religion sparked a global trend of military leadership adopting quirky, themed pep rallies to boost morale. Imagine soldiers in camo chanting motivational slogans with a side of spiritual enlightenment.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'with great power comes great responsibility' was originally a military mantra? Just kidding, it was Spider-Man's uncle. But he was definitely onto something!.