JULY 14, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bloomberg’s Global Traffic Safety Initiatives. Impact: Bloomberg's ambitious global traffic plans led to the creation of an international underground movement of traffic cones that now secretly orchestrate global traffic. Who knew that a few poorly placed cones in Brazil could affect rush hour in New York City?. Fact: Did you know that traffic jams are the modern equivalent of medieval sieges? Except instead of knights, you've got people in minivans losing their minds..
• Headline: Zimmerman Acquitted: A Turning Point. Impact: The acquittal sparked a wave of grassroots activism that reshaped the conversation around race in America. It led directly to social movements that would echo through the years, eventually inspiring a generation of activists. Meanwhile, George Zimmerman became the poster child for why gun laws should be discussed over a cup of coffee instead of a courtroom.. Fact: Did you know that the outrage from this case was so strong it could probably power a small city? Seriously, the debates that followed could light up a stadium..
• Headline: Zimmerman Acquitted: A Turning Point. Impact: This repeated headline only serves to emphasize the ongoing struggle against racial injustice, igniting conversations and movements for years to come. In a parallel universe, everyone decided to just stay inside and binge-watch shows instead. Spoiler: That universe isn't better.. Fact: Did you know that the outcome of this trial did more for the public's understanding of social issues than any textbook ever could? Who knew a courtroom drama could be so educational?.
• Headline: This Detective Novel’s Story Doesn’t Add Up. Impact: The critique of 'The Cuckoo’s Calling' led to a secret society of writers who banded together to ensure their plots were at least 80% believable. To this day, they meet in coffee shops, plotting world domination through well-structured narratives.. Fact: Did you know that many detective novels are actually written by people who have never solved a mystery? They just binge-watch crime shows and hope no one notices!.
• Headline: Prayer, Anger and Protests Greet Verdict in Florida Case. Impact: The protests that erupted became a blueprint for peaceful demonstrations across the country. In an alternate timeline, this energy was channeled into creating a national 'Hug a Police Officer Day'—which only lasted one year due to awkwardness.. Fact: Did you know that protests often start with people just wanting to complain about something they saw on TV? Turns out, making signs is a great way to get your emotions out!.