JULY 13, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Spitzer Shakes Up Comptroller Race. Impact: Had Eliot Spitzer not thrown his hat in the ring, Stringer might have quietly won the comptroller position, leading to a peaceful and uneventful term, which would have resulted in fewer memes about boring political figures. Imagine how different internet humor would be today!. Fact: Scott M. Stringer was once dubbed ‘the most exciting politician in New York’—which is like being the tallest hobbit..
• Headline: Baseball's Tough Stance on Doping. Impact: This crackdown on doping might have inadvertently inspired a new generation of athletes to find even more creative ways to cheat, leading to the invention of ‘performance-enhancing smoothies’ that are actually just kale and regret.. Fact: Major League Baseball's response to doping has been so tough that it's become a new form of 'America's Pastime'—the pastime of finding new ways to avoid detection..
• Headline: Infighting Among Syrian Rebel Groups. Impact: The infighting among Syrian rebels could have led to a butterfly effect where a peaceful resolution was just a few misunderstandings away—if only they had decided to settle their differences over a nice cup of tea instead of beheadings.. Fact: Syria has more factions than a high school cafeteria, making it hard to keep track of who’s sitting with whom in the ongoing geopolitical lunchroom drama..
• Headline: Jets’ Aboushi Faces Aspersions for Being Palestinian. Impact: If Aboushi had been celebrated instead of vilified, he could have become a symbol for unity, leading to a world where sports figures are known for their contributions to peace rather than their birthplaces. But alas, that’s too optimistic for 21st-century America.. Fact: The Jets have had more controversies than wins in recent years, proving that sometimes it's not about the game, but rather the endless soap opera that unfolds off the field..
• Headline: McIlroy, a Native Son, Divides Ireland. Impact: McIlroy’s distancing from his roots may have inspired future athletes to adopt a ‘global citizen’ persona, sparking a trend of golfers wearing international flags like they’re at a sports-themed United Nations meeting.. Fact: Rory McIlroy’s situation is a perfect reminder that in sports, just like in life, you can’t please everyone—especially when your home nation has more opinions than a Twitter feed during an awards show..