JUNE 7, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Parents Rally for Controversial Autism Drug. Impact: Parents fighting for this drug led to a grassroots movement that eventually spawned a reality TV show called 'Drug Wars: Family Edition.' The show was a hit, proving that desperation and pharmaceuticals make for great television.. Fact: In a twist of irony, the drug was later repurposed as a mood enhancer for parents, making them more tolerable during school pick-up lines..
• Headline: General Motors' Strategic Resurgence Efforts. Impact: G.M.'s struggle to win customers led to a new marketing slogan: 'We’re not just cars, we’re your second mortgage!' This inspired a wave of creative financing strategies that left buyers wondering if they were purchasing a vehicle or a timeshare.. Fact: In an effort to attract buyers, G.M. once considered offering free pizza with every car purchase. It didn’t go well, as customers just ended up with an overwhelming amount of dough and no place to park..
• Headline: Integrating Haredim into Israeli Society. Impact: The push for the ultra-Orthodox to 'share the burden' resulted in a new social trend where everyone began 'sharing burdens'—mostly on social media, leading to a spike in hashtag activism and a profound lack of actual change.. Fact: In the end, the ultra-Orthodox community decided that sharing burdens was overrated, preferring instead to stick to their tradition of sharing recipes for the best matzo ball soup..
• Headline: As Wars End, a Rush to Grab Dollars Spent on the Border. Impact: The rush for military contractors to grab dollars introduced a competitive edge that turned border security into a bizarre reality show called 'Border Bids: Who Will Win?' Ratings skyrocketed as contractors outbid each other with ludicrous proposals.. Fact: Interestingly, the first proposal included a moat filled with alligators, which was later deemed impractical due to the high maintenance costs and potential for alligator escape..
• Headline: More Dissent Is Expected Over a Wal-Mart Scandal. Impact: The dissent over the Wal-Mart scandal sparked a nationwide movement where consumers demanded transparency from all corporations, leading to the creation of the 'Corporate Transparency Olympics' where companies competed for the title of 'Most Honest.'. Fact: Despite all the drama, Wal-Mart's stock price actually soared after they introduced a new line of 'honesty' products, which included a self-checkout machine that only accepted cash—no credit, no lies..