MAY 30, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tensions Surround UK Banks and Obama Officials. Impact: The debates over British banks caused a rift that spiraled into a global obsession with banking transparency. Who would have thought that an argument over some shady transactions would lead to everyone scrutinizing their bank statements? Now we have more financial oversight than a toddler at a cookie jar convention.. Fact: Did you know that if you put all the fines from banks in a pile, it would probably make a decent-sized mountain? Too bad they didn’t have a bake sale instead..
• Headline: Sallie Mae Restructures Loan Offerings. Impact: The split of Sallie Mae marks the beginning of a new era in student loans. This inspired the creation of loan management apps, which ironically led to more students crying into their ramen noodles over student debt than ever before. Who knew splitting loans would just split the heart of young America?. Fact: Fun fact: If you stacked all the student loans from Sallie Mae, they would reach the moon. But don’t worry, that’s not an actual measurement, just a metaphor for despair..
• Headline: China's Growing Influence in Food Industry. Impact: China's food deal started a culinary arms race that led to various countries scrambling to secure their food supplies. As American burgers began to taste a bit more 'exotic,' conspiracy theorists began to wonder if they were really made from pork or just a clever ruse. Thanks, China!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'you are what you eat' started taking on a whole new meaning as people feared they might actually turn into dumplings? Imagine the dinner parties!.
• Headline: Anonymous Payment Schemes Thriving on Web. Impact: The rise of anonymous payment schemes paved the way for an entire underground economy. This led to more people attempting to buy things without anyone knowing, including that embarrassing inflatable unicorn they saw online. It’s like a secret club where the only membership fee is your dignity.. Fact: Fun fact: Anonymous payment schemes are so popular that even your grandma is likely using them to buy those questionable knitting kits without anyone judging her choices..