MAY 21, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yahoo's Tumultuous Tumblr Acquisition. Impact: Yahoo's incessant attempts to buy its way into relevance led to a bizarre time loop where companies began to avoid them like the plague, resulting in a future where 'Yahoo' became synonymous with 'what not to do in tech'. Fact: Fun fact: If you said 'Yahoo' three times in front of a mirror, it wouldn't make you any more relevant either.
• Headline: Yahoo's Bold Move in Social Media Space. Impact: By trying to change the social media game, Yahoo inadvertently created a universe where everyone now thinks they’re an influencer. Thanks, Yahoo, for giving us a generation of people who think taking selfies is a job. Fact: Isn't it ironic that Yahoo was once the king of the internet, and now we have TikTok? The only thing shifting faster than social media is their relevance.
• Headline: Before Tumblr, Founder Made Mom Proud. He Quit School.. Impact: David Karp's decision to drop out and found Tumblr sparked a wave of 'school is overrated' sentiments among teens, leading to a future where every kid believes they can start the next big thing without ever learning about the Pythagorean theorem. Fact: Proof that quitting school can pay off: David Karp became a millionaire while his classmates were still trying to figure out how to solve for x.
• Headline: Raising Towers and Wrestling Demons. Impact: The portrayal of conflicted architecture in 'The Master Builder' might have inspired future architects to channel their inner demons into more than just blueprints, leading to a bizarre trend of 'haunted skyscrapers' in urban design. Fact: John Turturro playing an architect is ironically fitting—he’s been building his acting career one conflicted character at a time, which is a lot like how architects build skyscrapers, just with fewer existential crises.