MAY 11, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Costly Changes After Hurricane Sandy. Impact: By imposing stricter rebuilding standards after Sandy, the law inadvertently set off a chain reaction of DIY home improvement shows. Now, every homeowner thinks they can become the next Bob Vila, leading to a nationwide shortage of power tools and a spike in home decor fails.. Fact: The only thing more costly than flood insurance premiums is the therapy bills for those who realize they can't DIY their way out of a disaster..
• Headline: Bloomberg's Data Terminal Privacy Violation. Impact: This breach led to the rise of conspiracy theories about Bloomberg secretly monitoring stock market whispers, resulting in a bizarre trend where traders started wearing tinfoil hats while trading. It became the latest Wall Street fashion statement.. Fact: Bloomberg terminals are so powerful, they can even predict your coffee order before you walk into the café. Too bad they can't predict your subscription cancellation..
• Headline: Tragedy and Innovation in America's Cup History. Impact: The death of Andrew Simpson sparked debates on safety in sports, leading to a new era of overprotection where athletes are bubble-wrapped and delivered to competitions in padded vans, thus eliminating any chance of drama in sports.. Fact: America's Cup now has so much safety gear that the boats look more like mobile hospitals than racing yachts. Next up: a mandatory yoga class for all sailors..
• Headline: Retailers Are Pressed on Safety at Factories. Impact: The pressure on retailers resulted in a flurry of PR campaigns showcasing 'safety-first' practices. Ironically, this led to an explosion of factory tours where executives are more focused on photo ops than actual safety improvements.. Fact: The only thing slower than the progress in factory safety standards is the speed at which corporate executives respond to a Twitter backlash..
• Headline: A Return Poses a Risk to the Knicks. Impact: Stoudemire’s return created a ripple effect in the Knicks' dynamics, causing a sudden influx of sports psychologists to diagnose the 'Amar'e Effect'—where teams forget how to function when a star player returns.. Fact: The Knicks have mastered the art of reinventing themselves so often that they should just change their name to 'The Chameleons.'.