MAY 7, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Foxconn Diversifies Beyond Apple Products. Impact: If Foxconn had successfully pivoted to televisions, we might have been living in a world where Apple products were actually made by Apple. The butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly your TV starts asking for a software update every hour!. Fact: Did you know that Foxconn's factories are so big they have their own zip codes? Talk about a corporate city—welcome to Foxconnville, where the workers are 'happy' and the iPhones are plentiful!.
• Headline: US Maintains Stance Amid Syrian Turmoil. Impact: The cautious approach in the Syria crisis encouraged other nations to adopt the same strategy, leading to a diplomatic dance-off that none of us wanted. And just like that, the world became a giant game of 'who can avoid making decisions the longest.'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'cautious' in politics often translates to 'waiting for someone else to make a mistake'? It’s like standing at the edge of a cliff, hoping your friends will jump first..
• Headline: Google Glass Sparks Privacy Concerns. Impact: Google Glass's awkward social interactions may have inspired future generations to prioritize phone-to-face conversations over awkwardly staring at wearable tech—thus saving humanity from total social oblivion. You're welcome, future!. Fact: Did you know Google Glass was basically like wearing a computer on your face? Because nothing says 'cool' like looking like a cyborg while ordering coffee!.
• Headline: Facing Black Market, Pfizer Is Looking Online to Sell Viagra. Impact: Pfizer's move to sell Viagra online opened the floodgates for other pharmaceutical companies to follow suit, leading to an unexpected renaissance in online shopping—who knew e-commerce would get so 'personal'?. Fact: Did you know Viagra was originally developed to treat heart issues? Imagine being prescribed 'heart medication' and finding out it had some, um, side effects—talk about a heart-throb!.
• Headline: As Midterms Loom, Democrats Worry About Health Law. Impact: Democrats’ health law fears paved the way for a wave of political ads that made the Super Bowl look like a quaint neighborhood bake sale. The political battleground transformed into a circus, where health care became the main attraction.. Fact: Did you know that in politics, 'worry' is just a euphemism for 'we have no idea what we're doing but we’ll pretend to care'? It’s like watching a reality show without the satisfaction of a resolution!.