APRIL 15, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maduro's Narrow Presidential Victory in Venezuela. Impact: If Maduro hadn't squeaked through the election, maybe Venezuela could have become a trendy tourist destination instead of a cautionary tale. The butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly you're sipping coffee in a thriving Caracas instead of scrolling through your news feed for the latest economic crisis!. Fact: Did you know that Hugo Chávez once proposed a 'socialism of the 21st century'? Because nothing says 'modern' like a revolution that’s not really revolutionizing anything!.
• Headline: Google's Landmark Deal with Europe. Impact: This deal with Google could lead to future tech companies feeling the heat and realizing they can't operate like a lawless Wild West forever. Imagine a world where tech giants can’t just do whatever they want! Oh wait, that might be worse.. Fact: Did you know that Google’s motto used to be 'Don't be evil'? It's almost like they knew they were headed straight for an antitrust showdown!.
• Headline: Stranded Afghan Interpreters: A Dire Situation. Impact: By leaving Afghan interpreters in the lurch, the U.S. might have inadvertently created a global crisis of confidence in military support. Who knew that abandoning allies would lead to a long-term trust deficit? It's almost like history is trying to teach us a lesson or something.. Fact: Did you know that interpreters are often the unsung heroes of military operations? It’s a shame they didn’t get a superhero cape along with their job description..
• Headline: As Wall St. Soars in Tough Era, Company Size Is a Big Factor. Impact: As Wall St. thrives, the gap between the rich and the poor may widen, making it easier for future generations to form their own reality TV show called 'Survivor: Economic Edition.' Spoiler alert: it’s not going to be pretty.. Fact: Did you know that the stock market is often described as a 'barometer' of economic health? So, let’s just say we’re living in a very dysfunctional climate!.
• Headline: Parties’ Rifts Hinder Background Check Measure in Gun Bill. Impact: The rifts in the parties over gun control might just lead to a future where political stalemates are the norm, and compromise becomes a relic of the past. Who knew that not agreeing could become a competitive sport?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'politics makes strange bedfellows' might just be the understatement of the millennium? Because apparently, they can’t even agree on the mattress!.