APRIL 7, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rethinking History: The Rise of Capitalism. Impact: This shift to focus on capitalism in history departments eventually led to the rise of TikTok influencers who teach financial literacy through dance. Thanks, historians, for setting that chain reaction into motion!. Fact: Did you know that the first ‘boss’ in history was actually a caveman who convinced everyone that standing next to the fire was a great idea? Spoiler alert: it was..
• Headline: Tax Lobby Strengthens Ties to Finance Chairman. Impact: This cozy relationship between tax lobbyists and finance chairmen sparked a secret society of lobbyists who meet in dimly lit rooms to share tips on how to dodge taxes, leading to a nationwide trend of 'creative accounting'—a.k.a. cooking the books!. Fact: Did you know that if you add 'consultant' to your job title, you can charge companies for your opinions on how to break the law? What a time to be alive!.
• Headline: Louisville's Thrilling Comeback Against Wichita State. Impact: Louisville’s nail-biting NCAA game sparked a nationwide obsession with sports drama, leading to the first reality TV show based on a basketball season. Spoiler: it was a slam dunk flop.. Fact: Did you know that the first NCAA game was played with peach baskets? Talk about a retro aesthetic—#vintage!.
• Headline: Taping of Farm Cruelty Is Becoming the Crime. Impact: The restriction on undercover operations led to an underground movement, inspiring a new genre of 'activist spy' films where hipsters don disguises to expose agricultural secrets. Hollywood really loves a good plot twist.. Fact: Did you know that the most undercover operation ever conducted was trying to find out who stole the last donut in the office break room? Results were inconclusive..
• Headline: Rutgers Officials Long Knew of Coach’s Actions. Impact: The revelation about Rutgers officials' negligence led to a wave of accountability reforms in college athletics, which ironically resulted in even more scandals because, hey, where there's a will, there's a way to dodge responsibility!. Fact: Did you know that college sports have been around since ancient Greece, where they also ignored reports of player misconduct? Some things never change!.