APRIL 2, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Connecticut's Landmark Gun Legislation Agreement. Impact: The Connecticut gun laws led to a nationwide wave of similar legislation, which inadvertently inspired a whole generation of action movie heroes to adopt non-lethal weapons. Now, we have more protagonists using water guns than ever before.. Fact: Did you know that after this legislation, the only thing more dangerous than a gun was someone trying to explain the laws to you in a bar?.
• Headline: The Elite International London Real Estate Market. Impact: The trend of exclusive foreign ownership in London sparked a global real estate frenzy, resulting in cities worldwide being filled with overpriced penthouses owned by people who barely remember what country they bought them in.. Fact: Isn't it funny how you can now buy a luxury flat in London just to be a visitor in your own vacation home? Talk about a new kind of jet lag!.
• Headline: Dell's $25 Million Bid Controversy. Impact: The $25 million expense negotiation with Dell set a precedent for all future tech deals, leading to a trend where companies now routinely pad their expenses by millions, resulting in boardrooms filled with accountants and very little actual innovation.. Fact: Did you know that the Blackstone Group's expenses could probably fund a small country's GDP for a year? But hey, who needs stability when you have tech stocks?.
• Headline: Japan Shifts From Pacifism as Anxiety in Region Rises. Impact: Japan's shift from pacifism opened Pandora's box, leading to an arms race in East Asia and a series of awkward family dinners between Japan and its neighbors, where everyone pretends nothing's changed.. Fact: Fun fact: Japan's mock island invasion exercise was actually just a really intense game of Capture the Flag, but with way more paperwork!.
• Headline: Old-School Newsman, After Deadline. Impact: Tom Hanks' Broadway debut reinvigorated interest in journalism and theater, leading to a bizarre trend of actors trying their hand at reporting, which resulted in more dramatic headlines than ever before.. Fact: Did you know that after this play, some people thought Hanks might run for office? Because clearly, acting is not enough when you have that much charisma!.