MARCH 27, 2013

Full News Archive

• Headline: Spam Wars: The Internet Under Siege. Impact: This spam fight led to the creation of a secret society of internet warriors who vowed to protect the digital realm from unsolicited emails. They now hold monthly meetings in basements, sipping energy drinks and plotting the downfall of spammers everywhere.. Fact: The first spam email was sent in 1978, and if only we had invented a time machine back then, we could have stopped it before it started. Instead, here we are, drowning in junk mail..
• Headline: Legal Showdown Between Conservative Friends. Impact: This legal showdown ignited a fierce rivalry that inspired a new reality TV series titled 'Lawyers Gone Wild,' where legal arguments are resolved through dodgeball competitions. Who knew the courtroom could be so entertaining?. Fact: The Supreme Court is like the ultimate reality show, except the contestants are judges, and the stakes are literally a matter of law. Who needs roses when you can have legal precedents?.
• Headline: JPMorgan Chase Under Federal Investigation. Impact: The federal investigations into JPMorgan Chase triggered a series of events that led to the creation of a new superhero: Captain Compliance, who flies around ensuring banks follow regulations. Sidekick? Probably someone named Regulation Man.. Fact: The Madoff scandal was so massive that it practically invented the term 'Ponzi scheme' for future generations. Thanks, Bernie; you really knew how to make a name for yourself..
• Headline: Justices Cast Doubt on Benefits Ban in U.S. Marriage Law. Impact: The doubts cast by Justice Kennedy on the Defense of Marriage Act opened the floodgates for future debates on marriage equality, ultimately leading to a reality where wedding planners now offer rainbow-themed packages for all orientations.. Fact: Marriage has been around for thousands of years, and yet somehow, it took until 2015 for the U.S. Supreme Court to decide that love is love. Thanks for taking your time, guys!.